


I could never regret you

by Alenacantfly



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Magnus POV, Missing Scene, S1E13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 16:50:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6478165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alenacantfly/pseuds/Alenacantfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Let's check the perimeter.”</p>
<p>Magnus saw his chance and took it. “Good idea.” Maybe he could explain to Alec how messed up the situation was. He hated seeing his shadowhunter like this, this hard shell and biting words. He missed the soft, warm, affectionate Alec.</p>
<p>His Alexander.<br/>------<br/>A fix it to make everything hurt less :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I could never regret you

As hot as an angry and determined Alexander usually was, this time the stoic mask on Alec's face made him want to hide. He was hurt. His whole posture was threatening, but Magnus could already see the thoughts running through Alec's mind.

“You don't regret it, do you?”, he had asked him and now he was most certainly sure that Alec did regret choosing him.

He had hurt him, even though he hadn't meant to. 

“I don't have time for this.” Alec's words felt like a slap in the face and Magnus swallowed. He wanted to say so much, but he just-

He couldn't. In all his years he had never been so afraid to say the wrong thing, to make things even worse, to ruin this forever.

Because he knew how skittish Alec could be.

The look Alec shot him spoke volumes and he tried to make himself smaller somehow. Anything to get away from the emotions burning in that gaze.

Isabelle was worse. Somehow.

Or just different.

She was fierce in her anger, where her brother had been stoic and silent.

Her eyes were accusing and Magnus realized that she felt betrayed, a guilty pang in his chest. This brave girl had trusted him with the most precious thing she held dear; her brother's happiness.

Magnus turned away, not able to bear it any longer. He had to fix this.

. 

The drive to the apartment was unpleasant at best. Alec didn't say a single word and Isabelle didn't stop glaring at Camille, sometimes glancing at him.

“Let's check the perimeter.”

Magnus saw his chance and took it. “Good idea.” Maybe he could explain to Alec how messed up the situation was. He hated seeing his shadowhunter like this, this hard shell and biting words. He missed the soft, warm, affectionate Alec.

His Alexander.

He waved Alec away and followed him under Isabelle's watchful gaze.

“I-” Alec was looking at him, had stopped in the hallway. “I don't even know where to start. I am so sorry, Alexander.”

Something seemed to snap, the tension leaving the air and the atmosphere relaxing and Magnus could finally breathe again as Alec's shoulders slumped.  
“I saw the way you looked at her”, Alec murmured. “I saw how much you were hurting. I know that the ruby Izzy is wearing was a gift from you. To Camille. And I know that you loved her. I-”

Magnus didn't dare move a muscle as Alec collected his thoughts.

“I was so prepared to hurt, to fall into jealous rage, but then I saw your face. Your eyes. She hurt you too. She broke your heart and I want to, I want to rib hers out of her chest for daring that! I want to make her pay for ever putting that look on your face. No matter what my parents say, or what everyone else seems to believe, I know you would never hurt me, Magnus.”

He couldn't stop staring at this beautiful, kind and forgiving, oh so forgiving, man in front of him.

“Alexander”, he choked out, unable to keep his emotions at bay.

Alec smiled sadly and stepped forward, into his space, cupping his cheek and slowly leaning in, searching Magnus' eyes.

“Okay?”, he asked and Magnus could only nod.

The kiss was slow, gentle. Magnus felt like crying. It was ridiculous, really.

Suddenly he felt Alec stiffen against him and he froze. A blade was pointed at his throat as they broke apart.

He made a move to get between the rogue shadowhunters and Alec, but was held back.

. 

Valentine was just as crazy as he remembered him.

Magnus kept glancing at Alec as Jace agreed to Valentine's plan, ready to react if Alec should decide to try and fight. He was almost grateful when Jace told Alec to get back, to stay safe.

Almost, if it weren't for Clarissa's tears. The little biscuit had lost so much already. She tore herself free and started running towards the portal, but Alec stopped her. Held her up as she sagged against him, her cries the only sound in the room.

Magnus' heart broke. Even now, after everything, Alec's first instinct was to protect.

. 

Alec was still silent when they finally had a moment for themselves.

“I know you don't want to hear it, so I'll just say this once. Whatever I felt for Camille is ancient history. Almost literally.”

Alec nodded, accepting it, accepting him.

“Yeah, but what she said about you being immortal. She's right. You watch the people you care about age and die.”

Oh Alexander, Magnus thought. The shadowhunter was still thinking about Magnus first. About his feelings. 

“Alexander, I may be the high warlock of Brooklyn, but even I can't see the future.”

They could die tomorrow. Hell, they had come too close today. And he just wanted a chance. He would take everything Alec was willing to give him. 

He hated that he had to leave Alec alone with his thoughts, but he owed Clary a mother. She needed her mother more than anything right now.

.

He shifted closer to Alec as he watched Clarissa reunite with her.

“May I speak with you?”, he asked quietly.

Alec led him to his room and motioned for him to sit on the bed. He waited until the shadowhunter sat down beside him before he spoke.

“I have seen many places and I have met many people. I have loved and I have lost. But nothing is as painful as regret. Forever is a damn long time when there are so many things you regret.”

He reached out, his hand hovering over Alec's. The shadowhunter looked at him, then at his hand and sighed, taking it carefully and intertwining their fingers.

“I don't ever want to regret not choosing you, Alexander. I have told you this before and I am going to continue to tell you this until the day you finally believe, because it is true. Every single word of it. You've unlocked something in me.” He squeezed Alec's hand, willing him to understand. 

“I have never felt anything so strongly for someone in such a short time and I know that I would forever regret not at least fighting for a chance, for this. The day you kissed me was the best day I had in decades, Alexander.”

He finally lifted his gaze, staring into those beautiful eyes. “I don't know how long we will have. Either of us could die any moment, with Valentine and the cup still out there. But I know this; Whatever you feel, whatever you are willing to give me, I will accept it all. No matter the heartbreak and agony to follow.”

He smiled sadly as Alec stared at him, his cheeks burning and his eyes wide with wonder and affection. “You will be worth all of it, Alexander.”

“I, I don't, I mean I-”, Alec stuttered, before he seemed to think better of it. He got up, off the bed and turned around, facing Magnus. 

Gently, he pushed, until the warlock moved higher up the bed, pushed until Magnus was splayed out on the sheets. 

Then he carefully got on the bed as well, settling over Magnus, his legs on either side oh his hips. “I am not good at meaningful speeches”, he murmured as he leaned down. Magnus laughed against his lips. The kiss was enough for Magnus to understand what Alec couldn't voice.

**Author's Note:**

> I just needed a fix it. Please tell me if any characters feel ooc.
> 
> Kudos and comments are love.
> 
>  
> 
> [ You can find me on Tumblr ](http://sterekruinedme.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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